Faith over Fear

I told myself  that when I got to TEN posts I would publish my site to friends and family.  So, I have been sitting at NINE posts for nearly a month simply because of FEAR!

Fear is my constant companion but the one I never intentionally invited along for the ride in life.  I think one of the big aspects of this journey I am on is redefining the relationship I have with my fear…lets call her Ida…already she seems less scary when I just call her Ida.

So, what has Ida been up to the last few weeks as she so diligently kept me from sharing my thoughts with the world.

Ida says:

People will not care what I have to say.
People will judge harshly the secrets that I have kept.
People will not want to be my friends anymore.

That I am not good enough to write a blog.
That I am not good enough to write a book.
That I am not good enough to be a public speaker.

Audiences will not resinate with what I speak.
Audiences will not feel the impact that I feel in my thoughts and words.
Audiences will not accept my experiences are relevant.

Well guess what…I think Ida is a loud mouth bitch that doesn’t want me to spread my sparkle all over the world. So, here is my letter to Ida.

Dear Ida,

I realize that you are with me for the long hall but guess what bitchy one…you are not in charge, I AM!
I AM…Strong….Smart…Sensitive…Sassy…Sexy… and sometimes Silly but most of all,

I AM WORTHY!

I AM worthy of all that I dream of doing and becoming.

I am worthy of writing my stories and telling my tales.

I AM also resilient!

So Ida, when I tell tough stories about love/loss, rape/recovery, demons/angels, I will survive the critics and I will rise above the shame and I will go on to free my soul, live my dreams and maybe, just maybe impact one other person in a positive way so that they too can see they are worthy and resilient and all the other things they knew deep inside that they could be.
I suggest Ida, that you cool your chops, hop in the back seat for the ride and focus on keeping me on the rails rather than always seeking to throw me off the rails.

Sincerely,
Me

HERE I AM WORLD. Welcome to my Souls Circus….Let the sparkle fall where it may!
Cherisse

Dear Little Debbie

Dear Little Debbie,

Come over here and have a seat, we need to talk!

We have been together nearly 40 years.  That is a long time, and a lot of history.  Remember when I used to carry you in my scooby-do lunch box to Kindergarten at Clayton Elementary?  I remember when you moved with me to St. Louis in the 4th grade, that was huge.  You were there for me when we moved back to Michigan too.  You would wait for me to get home from school nearly every day.  I love you Little Debbie, I really do.

I know you love me too.  I know you love the way I can gently pull back your perforated side.  How I can quickly pull you from your cellophane type wrapper.  I can stare at you adoringly from across the room.  I get Little Debbie, I really do.

But, the time has come.  Your smooth chocolate goodness and your inner cream filing are just too much for me.  You give me the greatest (sugar) highs but also the lowest (guilty) lows.  It is just too much for me to take anymore.  You need to go.  Take your fudge rounds, your nutty bars and your oatmeal cream pies and find yourself a new girl to love.

Please go quietly Little Debbie.  Please don’t call to me from the kitchen while I lay in bed at night.  Please don’t scream to me from behind the glass wall in the lunch room at work.  Please don’t throw yourself at me as I rush by you on my way to the produce at Meijer.

Today was our last fling Little Debbie, we are done! GTFO!

Your Ex Lova

C

Sparkle On!

P.S.  Don’t try to knock on Katrina’s door either, she threw you out already and I know damn well she does not want you back!

 

P.P.S  – Don’t even think about ganging up with those Keebler Elves to get back in here.  I’ll stomp their asses and throw them to the pugs!

My intentions with me!

That is a big question to ask of yourself…what are my intentions with me?  But from all that I have been reading lately (and I have been guzzling the books), it seems that I need to set some very clear intentions with myself.  So here is my start.  I say start because I suspect this will be an every growing and evolving thing, or at least I hope that is the case.

-I fully intend to grow my hair long enough to wear in a cute pony tail, sophisticated french twist, bohemian braid, regal chignon and the very frequent messy bun.

-I fully intend to loose the weight that has been settling on my bones like an emotional straight jacket over the past 4 years.  I intend to do this with  moderation in both food and exercise and large quantities of distraction.

-I fully intend to keep working on myself.

-I fully intend to earn my highest potential as a public speaker.

-I fully intend to charge what I am worth to be a coach.

-I fully intend to live out my inner gypsy by opening a store, “The Souls Circus” that will house my coaching business plus several comfy couches, a working area for jewelry/craft making ladies nights and TONS of fun clothing and accessory items so that my badassary can be shared with the world.  And sometimes, I will even have baked goods…because this newly thin girls loves to bake, and who the hell doesn’t love home made ‘no bake cookies’?

There it is…WORLD.  Here I come!

Sparkle on!

C

 

Irritated Compassion

So at this very moment I am really irritated and I am trying to find my compassion button. I have been working my compassion button a lot lately, sometimes with greater success than others. Below are some real life examples of me trying to move past my irritation with people and try to view them and their actions through the loving lens that covers my eyes and mind when I press that compassion button.

Road Construction

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