I told myself that when I got to TEN posts I would publish my site to friends and family. So, I have been sitting at NINE posts for nearly a month simply because of FEAR!
Fear is my constant companion but the one I never intentionally invited along for the ride in life. I think one of the big aspects of this journey I am on is redefining the relationship I have with my fear…lets call her Ida…already she seems less scary when I just call her Ida.
So, what has Ida been up to the last few weeks as she so diligently kept me from sharing my thoughts with the world.
People will not care what I have to say.
People will judge harshly the secrets that I have kept.
People will not want to be my friends anymore.
That I am not good enough to write a blog.
That I am not good enough to write a book.
That I am not good enough to be a public speaker.
Audiences will not resinate with what I speak.
Audiences will not feel the impact that I feel in my thoughts and words.
Audiences will not accept my experiences are relevant.
Well guess what…I think Ida is a loud mouth bitch that doesn’t want me to spread my sparkle all over the world. So, here is my letter to Ida.
I realize that you are with me for the long hall but guess what bitchy one…you are not in charge, I AM!
I AM…Strong….Smart…Sensitive…Sassy…Sexy… and sometimes Silly but most of all,
I AM WORTHY!
I AM worthy of all that I dream of doing and becoming.
I am worthy of writing my stories and telling my tales.
I AM also resilient!
So Ida, when I tell tough stories about love/loss, rape/recovery, demons/angels, I will survive the critics and I will rise above the shame and I will go on to free my soul, live my dreams and maybe, just maybe impact one other person in a positive way so that they too can see they are worthy and resilient and all the other things they knew deep inside that they could be.
I suggest Ida, that you cool your chops, hop in the back seat for the ride and focus on keeping me on the rails rather than always seeking to throw me off the rails.
HERE I AM WORLD. Welcome to my Souls Circus….Let the sparkle fall where it may!