Dear Little Debbie

Dear Little Debbie,

Come over here and have a seat, we need to talk!

We have been together nearly 40 years.  That is a long time, and a lot of history.  Remember when I used to carry you in my scooby-do lunch box to Kindergarten at Clayton Elementary?  I remember when you moved with me to St. Louis in the 4th grade, that was huge.  You were there for me when we moved back to Michigan too.  You would wait for me to get home from school nearly every day.  I love you Little Debbie, I really do.

I know you love me too.  I know you love the way I can gently pull back your perforated side.  How I can quickly pull you from your cellophane type wrapper.  I can stare at you adoringly from across the room.  I get Little Debbie, I really do.

But, the time has come.  Your smooth chocolate goodness and your inner cream filing are just too much for me.  You give me the greatest (sugar) highs but also the lowest (guilty) lows.  It is just too much for me to take anymore.  You need to go.  Take your fudge rounds, your nutty bars and your oatmeal cream pies and find yourself a new girl to love.

Please go quietly Little Debbie.  Please don’t call to me from the kitchen while I lay in bed at night.  Please don’t scream to me from behind the glass wall in the lunch room at work.  Please don’t throw yourself at me as I rush by you on my way to the produce at Meijer.

Today was our last fling Little Debbie, we are done! GTFO!

Your Ex Lova

C

Sparkle On!

P.S.  Don’t try to knock on Katrina’s door either, she threw you out already and I know damn well she does not want you back!

 

P.P.S  – Don’t even think about ganging up with those Keebler Elves to get back in here.  I’ll stomp their asses and throw them to the pugs!

It is NOT Food!

When I procrastinate….I eat!

When I am frustrated…I eat!

When I am stressed…I eat!

When I don’t feel well…I eat!

It is so NOT about the food for me, this is about my mind!  When my mind is unsettled for ANY reason, I have been finding comfort in food.  So my ass (and boobs and belly) have all grown and my unsettled remains.  Guess this plan is not working!  I have tired several things, other than food over the years (more on that later) but today’s beast that must be tamed is my mind and how I use food try and find comfort.  I need to find a better way but I suspect I might be buried in my grumpy pants for the new few days as I start the process of breaking up with Little Debbie, telling the Keebler Elves they are evicted from the pantry and give my “I will be seeing you so much less” speech to my lovely boys, Jack, Jim and Captain (Daniels, Beam and Morgan)!

Welcome to the circus!